The Before paragraph (below) appeared in an article he wrote, called How to Recognize and Prevent Chatter.
He gave me permission to revise the article to demonstrate how to simplify and streamline technical content targeted to manufacturing engineers.
It’s appropriate this short excerpt deals with chatter. In machining, chatter slows production and diminishes quality.
In writing, excess words and “chatter” impede understanding, action and, yes, quality. See what you think.
Before
One of the biggest obstacles to productivity in a machine shop is chatter. This irregularity in the cutting action, caused by vibration that occurs during the machining process, can lead to unsatisfactory surface finishes and poor dimensional quality. It can also diminish the useful life of a cutting tool and a machine tool's bearings, spindle, motors, servos and related components. The key to reducing vibration is to ensure the stiffness of the machining "system," which consists of the tooling, fixturing, work piece and machine. If any system component lacks adequate stiffness, productivity will suffer. Word count: 94
After
Chatter is a significant obstacle to machine shop productivity. Caused by vibration created during the machining process, chatter creates unsatisfactory finishes and affects dimensional quality. It diminishes the lifespan of the cutting tool and the machine tool’s bearings, spindle, motors, servos and related components. To eliminate chatter, the entire machine system — tool, fixture, workpiece and machine — must be stiff enough to dampen vibration, or productivity will suffer. Word count: 67; Reduction: 30%+/-
Adopting a simple, direct writing style reduced the word count by nearly 30%. Why is that important?
Ask yourself: What would a 30% reduction in your writing/reading load mean to you? Your boss? Your colleagues? Your customers?
Think about the impact a consistent, streamlined approach could have on you and your efficiency.
And as you think, consider how you'd tackle this particular rewriting challenge. As always, the After version above is just one of many possible solutions.
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